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A taxi was speeding toward the airport when the passenger suddenly shouted, “STOP!” The driver slammed the brakes. “What happened?” The passenger looked terrified. “I forgot something.” “What?” “My luggage.” The driver looked at the empty back seat. “You mean the luggage sitting right there?” The passenger turned around. His suitcase was sitting peacefully on…
A security guard was walking through a supermarket when he spotted a man asleep inside a shopping cart. He woke him. “Sir, what are you doing?” The man opened his eyes. “Shopping.” The guard looked at the completely empty cart. “For what?” The man looked around. “I haven’t decided yet.” “Why are you sleeping?” “I…
The chef ran into the kitchen shouting, “WHO TOOK THE SALT?” Everyone froze. A waiter pointed toward the counter. “It’s right there.” The chef looked. “No, that’s sugar.” The waiter stared at it. “You’re right.” The chef became suspicious. “Who switched them?” Nobody answered. Then the dishwasher walked in. “I did.” The chef looked furious….
A man stormed into the library. “I want to complain about a book!” The librarian looked up. “What’s wrong with it?” “It’s completely useless.” “What book is it?” He placed it on the desk. How to Become More Organized. The librarian looked at the book. “Why is it useless?” “I lost it for three weeks.”…
The wedding singer was performing beautifully when suddenly he stopped. Everyone became quiet. The bride looked worried. “What happened?” The singer pointed toward the back. “Someone is singing louder than me.” Everyone turned around. An uncle was loudly singing along. The bride laughed. “That’s my uncle.” The singer smiled. “Can he stop?” The bride shook…
A man stepped into a crowded elevator wearing sunglasses. Nobody said anything. He pressed the button for the 10th floor. Then he noticed a little boy staring at him. The boy asked, “Are you famous?” The man smiled. “Very.” The boy looked impressed. “What’s your name?” The man opened his mouth confidently. Then the elevator…
A doctor was checking a patient. “What do you normally eat?” The patient proudly replied, “Healthy food.” “Excellent. Give me an example.” “Pizza.” The doctor paused. “That’s not exactly healthy.” “I only eat vegetables on it.” “What vegetables?” “Peppers.” “Anything else?” “Cheese.” “Cheese isn’t a vegetable.” “I know.” “Then why did you mention it?” “Because…
A security guard caught a man quietly entering a movie theater through the exit. “Sir! Stop!” The man froze. “Yes?” “Why are you sneaking in?” “I bought a ticket.” “Then why didn’t you use the entrance?” The man pointed toward the entrance. “Because the movie already started.” The guard frowned. “That doesn’t explain anything.” The…
During dinner, a customer became obsessed with the restaurant’s special sauce. He called the chef over. “This sauce is incredible!” The chef smiled. “Thank you.” “What’s in it?” “That’s a secret.” The customer leaned closer. “Come on. I’ll never tell anyone.” The chef shook his head. “Absolutely not.” “Is it garlic?” “No.” “Tomato?” “No.” “Some…
At 4 a.m., the hotel manager found a guest asleep on the lobby sofa. He gently woke him. “Sir, why are you sleeping here?” The man opened his eyes. “My room is too expensive.” The manager looked confused. “But you’ve already paid for it.” “I know.” “So why aren’t you sleeping in your room?” The…