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At a wedding, the groom suddenly shouted, “THE RING IS GONE!” Everyone stopped dancing. The bride looked terrified. “Where did you last see it?” The groom pointed toward the cake. “Near the table.” Twenty people started searching. Under chairs. Behind curtains. Even inside the flower arrangements. Finally, the best man shouted, “Found it!” Everyone cheered….
A man was leaving a supermarket when the security guard stopped him. “Sir, may I see your receipt?” The man handed it over. The guard checked the receipt. “Everything looks fine.” The man smiled. “Great.” The guard looked at his shopping bag. “Wait.” “What?” “You bought twelve bananas.” “Yes.” “Twelve?” “Yes.” The guard looked suspicious….
The wedding DJ announced, “Everybody get on the dance floor!” Everyone started dancing. Grandma walked over to the DJ. “Young man.” The DJ leaned down. “Yes, ma’am?” “Do you have any music from my time?” “Of course!” He played an old classic. Grandma smiled. “Perfect!” She walked onto the dance floor and started dancing. Ten…
The office printer stopped working five minutes before an important meeting. Sarah pressed the button. Nothing. She pressed it again. Still nothing. Her coworker walked over. “What’s wrong?” “It refuses to print.” He opened the paper tray. “There’s no paper.” Sarah stared at him. “Well, that explains a lot.” He added paper and pressed print….
A man walked into a museum and accidentally bumped into a statue. The museum guard rushed over. “Sir! Please be careful!” The man looked at the statue. “Don’t worry. It’s fine.” The guard stared at him. “Sir, that’s a 300-year-old statue.” The man nodded. “Exactly. It’s survived 300 years. I think it’ll survive me.” The…
A customer told the waiter, “I want something healthy.” “Grilled chicken?” “No.” “Salad?” “No.” “Soup?” “No.” The waiter sighed. “Then what would you like?” “Something delicious.” The waiter walked into the kitchen. “Chef, he wants something healthy but rejected everything healthy.” The chef thought for a moment. “Give him a salad.” “He said no.” “Add…
A passenger jumped into a taxi. “Airport, please! And hurry!” The driver started driving. The passenger checked his watch. “We’re going to be late!” The driver nodded. “Probably.” “Probably?! Can’t you take a shortcut?” “I can.” “Then take it!” The driver turned onto a tiny street. Five minutes later, they reached a dead end. The…
At a fancy restaurant, a waiter placed a huge steak in front of a man. “Enjoy, sir.” The man looked at it. “I didn’t order this.” The waiter checked his notepad. “Table 12?” “No. Table 21.” The waiter froze. “That’s the $90 steak.” The man looked at the steak. “Well…” He picked up his fork….
The barber finished the haircut and turned the chair around. The customer stared at the mirror. “That’s… different.” The barber smiled. “It’s modern.” “My left side looks completely different from my right.” “That’s the style.” “What style?” The barber thought for a second. “Surprise.” The customer touched his head. “Can you fix it?” “Of course.”…
I checked into a hotel late at night. The clerk handed me the room key. “Is there anything you need during your stay?” I said, “No, thank you. I’m just here to sleep.” He nodded. “Perfect.” I went upstairs. Five minutes later, I called reception. “Hi. I have a problem.” “What’s wrong, sir?” “The room…