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At a fancy restaurant, a waiter placed a huge steak in front of a man. “Enjoy, sir.” The man looked at it. “I didn’t order this.” The waiter checked his notepad. “Table 12?” “No. Table 21.” The waiter froze. “That’s the $90 steak.” The man looked at the steak. “Well…” He picked up his fork….
The barber finished the haircut and turned the chair around. The customer stared at the mirror. “That’s… different.” The barber smiled. “It’s modern.” “My left side looks completely different from my right.” “That’s the style.” “What style?” The barber thought for a second. “Surprise.” The customer touched his head. “Can you fix it?” “Of course.”…
I checked into a hotel late at night. The clerk handed me the room key. “Is there anything you need during your stay?” I said, “No, thank you. I’m just here to sleep.” He nodded. “Perfect.” I went upstairs. Five minutes later, I called reception. “Hi. I have a problem.” “What’s wrong, sir?” “The room…
The teacher walked into class and asked, “Who finished their homework?” Almost everyone raised a hand. One student kept his hand down. The teacher noticed. “Why didn’t you do your homework?” He stood up. “Because of my dog.” The teacher sighed. “Your dog ate it?” “No.” “He lost it?” “No.” “Then what happened?” The student…
I was having dinner at a restaurant when the waiter came over. “Would you like anything else?” I looked at my empty plate. “No, thank you.” He smiled. “How was everything?” “Excellent.” Then he asked, “Would you like dessert?” I said, “No, I’m completely full.” He nodded and walked away. Ten seconds later, I saw…
I went for a job interview. The interviewer asked, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” I smiled confidently. “Hopefully sitting in your chair.” He raised an eyebrow. “That’s ambitious.” I nodded. “Very.” He looked at my résumé. “You have no management experience.” “Correct.” “You’ve never managed a team?” “No.” “Then why do you…
At dinner, my little brother suddenly said, “Did you know the human body is mostly water?” Dad nodded. “Yes.” My brother smiled proudly. “That means I’m basically a swimming pool.” Everyone laughed. He looked offended. “What?” Mom said, “You’re not a swimming pool.” He thought about it. “Then why do I get thirsty?” Dad laughed….
Dad sat beside me while I practiced driving. “Relax,” he said. “I’ve been driving for 30 years.” I nodded. “Okay.” A few seconds later, he shouted, “BRAKE!” I slammed the brakes. “What happened?” “Nothing.” “Then why did you yell?” “I was testing your reflexes.” We continued driving. A minute later, he shouted, “TURN!” I turned….
My friend told me, “I can predict the future.” I laughed. “Really? What’s going to happen tomorrow?” He looked at me seriously. “You’re going to give me $10.” “Why?” “Because I predicted it.” I laughed. “I’m not giving you anything.” He smiled. “Okay.” The next day, he asked me for $10. I said, “No.” He…
I was quietly eating cake in the kitchen at midnight when Mom suddenly turned on the light. She stared at me. “Why are you eating cake at midnight?” I froze. “I couldn’t sleep.” “So you came downstairs for cake?” I nodded. “Yes. Cake makes me sleepy.” Mom looked at the huge slice in my hand….