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A librarian spotted a man talking on his phone inside the library. She walked over and whispered, “Sir, this is a library.” The man whispered back, “I’m sorry.” She nodded. “Thank you.” He continued his phone call. “YES, I’LL CALL YOU BACK!” The librarian jumped. “Sir!” He looked confused. “What?” “You need to be quiet.”…
At a children’s party, the magician announced, “Who wants to see something disappear?” Everyone shouted, “ME!” He pulled a coin from his pocket. “Watch carefully.” He covered it with his hand. “One, two, three!” He opened his hand. The coin was gone. The kids cheered. Then one little boy raised his hand. “I can do…
A man called the hotel front desk at midnight. “There’s something wrong with my room.” The receptionist asked, “What’s the problem, sir?” “It’s too quiet.” She paused. “Too quiet?” “Yes. I can’t sleep.” “Would you like us to send someone up?” “Absolutely.” A few minutes later, a hotel employee knocked on the door. “How can…
A customer called the pizza shop. “There’s a problem with my pizza.” The employee asked, “What’s wrong?” “It’s round.” There was silence. “Sir… pizzas are usually round.” “I know.” “So what’s the problem?” “It’s too round.” The employee was confused. “How can a pizza be too round?” “I don’t know, but this one is suspicious.”…
The classroom was completely silent during the exam. The teacher walked between the desks and suddenly stopped. One student was fast asleep. She tapped his desk. “Wake up!” He opened one eye. “Finished?” “No! You’re taking a test!” He looked at the paper. “How much time is left?” “Twenty minutes.” He nodded. “Perfect.” “Perfect?!” He…
A customer sat down at a restaurant. The waitress smiled. “Can I get you something to drink?” “Water.” “Still or sparkling?” He thought carefully. “Surprise me.” She brought sparkling water. He took one sip and frowned. “This water is angry.” The waitress blinked. “Angry?” “It keeps attacking my tongue.” She tried not to laugh. “It’s…
A man walked into a bookstore and placed a book on the counter. “I’d like to return this.” The cashier looked at the receipt. “There’s nothing wrong with it?” “No.” “Then why are you returning it?” He sighed. “I bought it because the title was How to Become More Confident.” “Okay…” “I read the first…
A customer suddenly called the waiter over. “Excuse me!” The waiter rushed over. “Is everything okay?” “No!” He pointed into his soup. “There’s a fly in it!” The waiter looked at the bowl. “That’s unusual.” “Unusual?! It’s swimming!” The waiter leaned closer. The fly was indeed floating around. The customer looked furious. “I want this…
A police officer pulled over a car crawling down the road at 15 mph. He walked up to the window. “Ma’am, do you know why I stopped you?” The woman smiled. “Because I was speeding?” The officer looked confused. “No. You were going 15.” She nodded proudly. “Exactly.” “That’s actually why I stopped you.” She…
The plane was flying smoothly when the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, everything is perfectly normal.” Everyone relaxed. Then the plane suddenly shook. A passenger grabbed his seat. “What was that?!” The flight attendant smiled. “Just a little turbulence.” Another huge shake hit. Someone screamed. The flight attendant calmly walked down the aisle. “Please remain…