At 4 a.m., the hotel manager found a guest asleep on the lobby sofa. He gently woke him. “Sir, why are you sleeping here?” The man opened his eyes. “My room is too expensive.” The manager looked confused. “But you’ve already paid for it.” “I know.” “So why aren’t you sleeping in your room?” The…

An elderly woman climbed into a taxi and said, “Take me to the hospital.” The driver nodded and started driving. Ten minutes later, she looked out the window. “Young man…” “Yes, ma’am?” “This doesn’t look like the road to the hospital.” The driver looked confused. “You said the shopping mall.” She stared at him. “I…

A waiter noticed a customer take his phone out, stare at it, and then put it inside the restaurant’s freezer. He rushed over. “Sir, what are you doing?” “Cooling it down.” “Why?” “It’s overheating.” The waiter looked at the phone. “It’s not even warm.” The man nodded. “Exactly. I’m preventing the problem.” The waiter laughed….

A psychic walked confidently into a café. She told the waiter, “I already know what you’re going to say.” The waiter smiled. “Really?” “Yes.” “What am I going to say?” She closed her eyes dramatically. “You’ll ask me what I want to order.” The waiter nodded. “Correct.” She smiled proudly. “See?” Then she turned around…

A man entered a bakery. “I need a birthday cake.” The baker smiled. “Of course. What should we write on it?” “Surprise me.” The baker nodded. “What flavor?” “Surprise me.” “Size?” “Surprise me.” The baker became nervous. “Sir, you’re making this very difficult.” The man smiled. “Exactly.” The baker finally finished the cake. The man…

The family was playing trivia. “What is the capital of France?” Grandma shouted, “Paris!” Everyone cheered. Next question: “What planet is known as the Red Planet?” “Marrrrrrs!” Everyone stared. Grandma smiled. Then came the final question. “What is the largest ocean?” Grandma confidently shouted, “The one with the most water!” Everyone burst out laughing. The…

A man rushed to the airport lost-and-found desk. “I lost my suitcase!” The clerk grabbed a form. “What does it look like?” “Black.” “Brand?” “I don’t know.” “Size?” “Suitcase-sized.” The clerk sighed. “Anything distinctive?” The man thought. “Yes.” “What?” “It has all my clothes inside.” The clerk stared at him. “Sir, that’s true of almost…

A famous food critic visited a restaurant. After dinner, the chef nervously approached. “How was the food?” The critic nodded. “Excellent.” The chef smiled. “Anything you didn’t like?” “One thing.” The chef became nervous. “What?” “The soup.” “What was wrong with it?” “Nothing.” The chef looked confused. “You just said you didn’t like it.” “I…

The professor stood at the front of the classroom. “Who can tell me what causes lightning?” Nobody answered. He repeated, “Come on. This is basic science.” One student slowly raised his hand. “Yes?” “Electricity.” “Correct!” The professor smiled. “Very good. And what causes thunder?” The same student raised his hand. “More electricity?” The professor sighed….

A mechanic crawled under a customer’s car. “There’s definitely a strange noise.” The customer looked worried. “Is it serious?” “Very.” “How much will it cost?” The mechanic crawled out. “Nothing.” The customer looked relieved. “Nothing?” “Correct.” “Then what’s wrong?” “Your radio is on.” The customer stared at him. “That’s it?” “That’s it.” He started laughing….