The bookstore clerk looked confused. “What’s wrong with the book?” “I haven’t even opened it.” “Then why are you returning it?” She held up the book. “The title says, How to Stop Worrying.” “Yes?” “I’ve been worrying about whether it will work.” The clerk smiled. “So you haven’t read it?” “No.” “Why?” She sighed. “What…
He proudly showed it to his friends. “It can detect bad decisions instantly.” One friend asked, “How does it work?” The inventor pressed a button. The machine beeped. “What does that mean?” his friend asked. The inventor sighed. “It means I should stop showing inventions to you.” His friend pointed at the machine. “Does it…
His wife suddenly asked, “What day is today?” The husband smiled confidently. “Easy. Our anniversary is next month, your birthday is two months later, and our first date was on a Tuesday.” His wife stared at him. “Wow. You actually remember everything!” He smiled. “Of course I do.” She nodded. “Then what did I ask…
A young man walked into an old bookshop and looked around. He picked up a dusty book and said, “This place looks like nobody has cleaned it since dinosaurs were alive.” The old shopkeeper smiled. “That’s not true.” The young man laughed. “Oh really? When was it cleaned?” The shopkeeper calmly replied: “Yesterday.” The young…
The toddler stood proudly beside the colorful wall. His mother stared at it. “Why did you draw all over the wall?” The toddler looked at the crayons. Then at the wall. Then calmly said: “I was making the house prettier.” His mother pointed at the empty paper on the table. “That paper is for drawing.”…
At dinner, his parents told him to share his chocolate cake with his younger sister. He looked at the cake. Then at his sister. Then back at his parents. “Fine,” he said. He cut the cake into two pieces. His parents smiled. “That’s very nice of you.” The boy gave the big piece to his…
The tourist proudly opened the map and started walking. After two hours, he was completely lost. He looked at the map and yelled: “You said you could never get me lost!” A man nearby looked at it. “Sir, that map doesn’t say that.” “Yes, it does!” The man pointed to the cover. It said: “Never…
He bought a very expensive alarm clock that promised to wake him up gently. At 7:00 a.m., it played soft birdsong. He smiled and turned it off. At 7:05, it played relaxing ocean waves. He turned it off again. At 7:10, the alarm finally shouted: “GET UP! YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BECOME SUCCESSFUL BY LYING…
His friend walked into the lab. “What are you doing?” “Studying my alarm clock.” “Why?” “I want to know why it hates me.” His friend laughed. “It’s an alarm clock.” “I know.” “So?” “Every morning it makes a terrible noise, wakes me up, and ruins my dreams.” His friend stared at him. “What did you…
His friend looked confused. “What happened?” “She was always reacting to everything.” “So?” “I said one small thing.” “What did you say?” “I said, ‘Your hair looks different.’” His friend laughed. “What did she say?” “Three hours later, I still don’t know.” His friend nodded. “Yep. Very reactive.” The student sighed. “I should have dated…