A man walked into a bookstore and placed a book on the counter. “I’d like to return this.” The cashier looked at the receipt. “There’s nothing wrong with it?” “No.” “Then why are you returning it?” He sighed. “I bought it because the title was How to Become More Confident.” “Okay…” “I read the first…

A customer suddenly called the waiter over. “Excuse me!” The waiter rushed over. “Is everything okay?” “No!” He pointed into his soup. “There’s a fly in it!” The waiter looked at the bowl. “That’s unusual.” “Unusual?! It’s swimming!” The waiter leaned closer. The fly was indeed floating around. The customer looked furious. “I want this…

A police officer pulled over a car crawling down the road at 15 mph. He walked up to the window. “Ma’am, do you know why I stopped you?” The woman smiled. “Because I was speeding?” The officer looked confused. “No. You were going 15.” She nodded proudly. “Exactly.” “That’s actually why I stopped you.” She…

The plane was flying smoothly when the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, everything is perfectly normal.” Everyone relaxed. Then the plane suddenly shook. A passenger grabbed his seat. “What was that?!” The flight attendant smiled. “Just a little turbulence.” Another huge shake hit. Someone screamed. The flight attendant calmly walked down the aisle. “Please remain…

At a wedding, the groom suddenly shouted, “THE RING IS GONE!” Everyone stopped dancing. The bride looked terrified. “Where did you last see it?” The groom pointed toward the cake. “Near the table.” Twenty people started searching. Under chairs. Behind curtains. Even inside the flower arrangements. Finally, the best man shouted, “Found it!” Everyone cheered….

A man was leaving a supermarket when the security guard stopped him. “Sir, may I see your receipt?” The man handed it over. The guard checked the receipt. “Everything looks fine.” The man smiled. “Great.” The guard looked at his shopping bag. “Wait.” “What?” “You bought twelve bananas.” “Yes.” “Twelve?” “Yes.” The guard looked suspicious….

The wedding DJ announced, “Everybody get on the dance floor!” Everyone started dancing. Grandma walked over to the DJ. “Young man.” The DJ leaned down. “Yes, ma’am?” “Do you have any music from my time?” “Of course!” He played an old classic. Grandma smiled. “Perfect!” She walked onto the dance floor and started dancing. Ten…

The office printer stopped working five minutes before an important meeting. Sarah pressed the button. Nothing. She pressed it again. Still nothing. Her coworker walked over. “What’s wrong?” “It refuses to print.” He opened the paper tray. “There’s no paper.” Sarah stared at him. “Well, that explains a lot.” He added paper and pressed print….

A man walked into a museum and accidentally bumped into a statue. The museum guard rushed over. “Sir! Please be careful!” The man looked at the statue. “Don’t worry. It’s fine.” The guard stared at him. “Sir, that’s a 300-year-old statue.” The man nodded. “Exactly. It’s survived 300 years. I think it’ll survive me.” The…

A customer told the waiter, “I want something healthy.” “Grilled chicken?” “No.” “Salad?” “No.” “Soup?” “No.” The waiter sighed. “Then what would you like?” “Something delicious.” The waiter walked into the kitchen. “Chef, he wants something healthy but rejected everything healthy.” The chef thought for a moment. “Give him a salad.” “He said no.” “Add…