My Dad Bought a Smart Speaker Yesterday

A man visited a pet store. The owner said, “This parrot is incredibly intelligent.” The man asked, “How intelligent?” “It can speak five languages.” The man was impressed. “What does it say?” The owner turned to the parrot. “Hello!” The parrot said nothing. The owner tried again. “Good morning!” Nothing. The man looked at him….

Dad walked into the kitchen looking annoyed. “Has anyone seen my phone?” Mom said, “You had it five minutes ago.” “I know! That’s why I’m asking.” We all started looking. Under the sofa. On the table. In the bedroom. Nothing. Dad suddenly shouted, “Found it!” We ran into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and…

A man walked into a bookstore and placed a book on the counter. “I’d like to return this.” The cashier looked at the receipt. “There’s nothing wrong with it?” “No.” “Then why are you returning it?” He sighed. “I bought it because the title was How to Become More Confident.” “Okay…” “I read the first…

My friend said, “I’m finally saving money.” I asked, “How?” “I stopped buying coffee every morning.” “That’s smart!” “Instead, I bought a coffee machine.” “Even better!” He smiled. “And a grinder.” “Okay…” “And special coffee beans.” I stared at him. “How much did all that cost?” He went quiet. “Let’s not ruin this positive conversation.”…

A dentist noticed his patient nervously staring at the toothbrush on the counter. “Everything okay?” The patient nodded. “Yes.” “You look terrified.” “I’m fine.” The dentist picked up the toothbrush. “This?” The patient backed away. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about.” “It’s just a toothbrush.” “I know.” “Then why are you afraid of it?” The…

My wife walked into the room. “Are you listening to me?” I immediately put my phone down. “Of course.” “What did I just say?” I smiled confidently. “You said…” I paused. She crossed her arms. “Go ahead.” “You said something important.” “What something?” “Something very important.” She stared at me. “That’s not an answer.” I…